Day#4: 14Dec2020, Mon

  I woke up this morning with barrier. No feeling of His presence. I felt empty and panic.

I miss Him so much.

I miss you Beloved. I miss you soooo much. The thought of NOT having your presence for even 1 min, breaks my heart. I am like a love-sick Bride, in search for her Bridegroom King. I am almost in tears just thinking about NOT having you, not feeling you, not touching you,.. the biggest break-up feeling. My heart feels like sinking, heart broken.

Is this how you have felt when I had idols in my heart?

Did I break your heart? I am so sorry. I never ever want to do that. 

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Today's I don't feel God's presence like was I did in the last 2 days. What is wrong????

I am sensing other people's feelings:

1. Barrier

2. Confusion of the mind

3. Blocked

I am just sensing other people's emotions

The scenario

All you have to do is turn-up, open your heart, be hungry. He will do the rest.

Often we are thinking of our idols, when we are in HIs presence. Imagine you are being with your boyfriend, and he is looking at his phone, thinking about his ex or other girlfriends, bitching about his awful life, etc. You love him but you wont like being with him.

So, when you go into God's presence, if all you want from him is your healing, complain about your miserable life constantly (every now and then OK but not every single time), think about other things and people except him. How does it make him feel. Would he feel RAVISHED by your love? He will be enduring and long suffering husband. 

We complain about our earthly husband but we behave like them spiritually to Jesus. Do you think He is hurt?

In fact, I hurt Him like that. I repented and felt the pain and hurt He felt.

When you hurt him Jesus/Holy Spirit, he will be quiet. You will be the only person talking but you won't hear him. After you repented, you will feel His presence and voice again.