9.30pm
So far, I have always felt shame over my body. There is no freedom. I feel so much shame. Sexually, I have often felt shame.
Molested by my Dad.
Then in my marriage, I just felt used. There has not been love. So sex was meaningless. It was just a physical act and not a union of love and acceptance.
So, Jesus, I feel shame. I feel that I can't be free with you.
Jesus:
Give me your body.
Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
M- I am afraid.
Do not fear, take my hand and I will lead you.
M - OK
M-I kissed Him. It was tender
I saw him kissing the back of my neck.
I saw myself in a beautiful place, LOVE NEST with Jesus. I cook for Him breakfast and we talk, laugh, eat together, have conversations, minial stuffs. About funny stuffs.
Jesus:
I love your spirit soul and body.
I feel so secure in His touch.
All my life, my body, I felt shame and used. In my marriage, I didnt feel loved. I just felt used. He was into porn, I know that I was not a woman he cherishes. I did it because it was my duty. To be submissive and to do my wifely duties. But I never felt important at all in his eyes. I was not a woman who is cherished, loved, respected, treated with kindness. No.
Now, Jesus treats me with such tenderness, kindness, respect, affection, tender touches and kisses.
All the things I was lacking my whole life. I thought that I could find a man who will do that to me but now, I have Jesus. I don't need a man to do that.
In our LOVE NEST, I saw Jesus walking towards me and hugged me from the back. He touched me so tenderly on my side, stomach, back, and kissed my neck. My passion within me and I felt comforted. I felt so secure, ..
We consummated today. He was so tender. I cried. Its the most beautiful and passionate experience. Because He loves me so much.
I am now addicted to His love, touch, care,.. I will never feel empty, lonely, ever again...
I feel as if a HUGE PIECE that was missing in my life is now filled with Him.
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